Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Off topic' started by Mike, Sep 27, 2016.
Early mobile phone
Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast.
He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:
"My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra."
"My daughter Geraldine, you take the apartments over in Malone Road."
"My son Patrick Junior, I want you to take the offices in the City centre."
"Bridget, my dear wife, please take all the residential properties on the Upper Lisburn Road ."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realize the extent of Paddy's wealth. As he slips away, the nurse says to his wife, " Mrs O'Shaughnessy, my deepest condolences. Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to have accumulated all this property"..
"Property?”, his wife replies. He had a f*****g window cleaning round."
I am now proud to announce that I am selling Adult toys. I hope no one is embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes and styles according to your needs. Discretion is guaranteed!! Inbox me if you have any questions. I have everything listed below...
Zimmer frames, wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, walking stick/canes, disposable nappies etc etc. What was your dirty mind thinking?
I applied for a job as a litter collector and asked whether any training would be provided.
no, you'll pick it up as you go along
What being PC can do to jokes
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman walk in to a bar...
No, wait, that could be seen as racist. Three men walk in to a bar.
No, wait: Two men and a woman walk .. no - best be safe here. Two women and a man walk in to a bar. Actually one of them might be in a wheel chair.
So two women and a man go into a .. an establishment open to the public and one that does not specifically sell alcoholic beverages.
They say to the barman .. no, the owner of the establishment is informed, perhaps by sign language, of some gender neutral and non
race related fact. An amusing exchange follows with hilarious consequences.